I Can't Do It

It’s been quite a long time since I’ve updated my blog, but hopefully you have been enjoying my videos instead. You can view them in my video library or just click here.

The Lord has brought many new challenges my way this term, and I praise him for that. I think all too many times we pray for comfort rather that character, when it is obvious from his Word that he cares more about the latter. So when I prayed and asked him for character, he did not hesitate to answer.

It started early this year, when I really wanted to make the best use of my time here in Kampala.  I ended up committing to teaching English every Monday and Tuesday night. I saw that there was a huge need for this at the local ministry “Refuge & Hope" and I figured since I spoke English and I had done some one-on-one tutoring in the past that this would be something I could do.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The very next Monday when I arrived at Refuge & Hope I was dropped in front of a class of 25 Muslim adults from South Sudan, Ethiopia and Somalia with nothing but an expo marker and a white board. Every single one of the refugees had their hopeful eyes pointed at me. Dressed in their traditional clothing, armed with pens and paper, they were eager to learn the language that would bring them a better life.

“I can’t do it”

The next hour and a half consisted of much improvising and stumbling. I ended up teaching them words that rhyme with “hat.” It was probably not the lesson they were expecting to learn, but at least they had some fun.

As I was walking home I realized that I was going to have to do this for at least 30 more times in the next few months. That was when the anxiety hit. I thought: “How am I going to do this? I just can’t do this.” But I committed, so I decided to stick with it. God made it clear to me that this is where he wants me. My students might hear the gospel here at Refuge & Hope. This is important.

So for the next two weeks I started to figure out some teaching methods that worked well, and I got some good advice from my peers. However, the anxiety was still there. I still did not feel confident enough to do the work God had for me.

Fast-forward a few weeks. I am starting to run out of ideas. The Internet (which had been main source for teaching material) had not worked for the past week. I could not get any lesson plans, and I grew even more anxious. I decided to buy a 3G Internet stick for my Mac, but I did not have enough shillings, and the ATM was closed. So After borrowing some cash and taking a few hours off work, I arrived at the store only to find they were out of stock.

I’m sure you can empathize with the frustration and stress that I felt in this moment. I fortunately managed to get an Internet stick with some airtime on it, but I only had an hour before my students arrived. I raced back to Refuge & Hope anxious to prepare a lesson plan.

Once I got back, I pull out my Mac and proceed to plug in the 3G Internet stick. You can guess what happened next right? The thing wasn’t compatible with my Mac! I don’t want to admit it, but my heart was filled with anger. “C’mon God! I want to serve you, so let this Internet stick work! Please!”  As I spend more time scurrying through the building, trying to find a book to teach from, there is only one thought going through my mind.

“I can’t do this. I just can’t do this”

As I sit down defeated, I look up and ask God in desperation just how he wants me to pull this off. At this moment Lydia, the head teacher, approaches me with a concerned face.

“Alex, can you do something for me?”

“Uh sure, what is it?”

“Michael can’t make it tonight, so we need to combine his class with yours. Is that ok?”

A big smile appeared on my face. I finally got it.

“Of course Lydia, don’t worry about it”

I finally got the message God had for me, He had been telling me for weeks now. It was so obvious, I felt bad for not getting it right away. This is what He was saying:

“You can’t do it, but I can.”

He gave me a job that is impossible, because he wants to do it for me. He wants to do it through me. He wants to do it in me. My mind goes to the words God gave to Paul in 2 Corinthians 13:9.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”

I keep on going back to the beauty of the gospel, that God is the one who does all good things through us. He exchanged our heart of stone and replaced it with a heart of flesh (Ez 36:26). He causes us to walk in his statutes and He pours his Spirit over us (Psalm 119 & Joel 2:28).

God taught me a valuable lesson that night; he wanted my heart to fully trust in his ability to do things when I can’t. He wants us to labor for his kingdom with excellence and be fully reliant on His sovereign power. We can't do it without him. Only because of His grace can we do any good in this life. So whenever we try to do it on our own, we will fail. However, when we labor with Him he does the impossible. (Mt 19:26)

In case you were wondering, that English lesson I taught was the best one ever since I started. Everyone was engaged, there was discussion, and I saw many new faces the next week. The peace and joy I felt after teaching that lesson with him was glorious. There really is nothing else in this world better than serving Him.

Thanks for reading! I hope it left you encouraged and refreshed. I will leave you with some of my favorite pictures from the last few weeks.

In the dust of His feet,
-Alex

Descending Mt Rwenzori

"Victory!"

A local village market on the side of the road.

(left to right) Valerie, Christine, Me, Faraja.

(left to right) Faraja, Tom, Me, Peter at the top of Mt Rwenzori

I still have no idea what this is. it starts sweet, but has a super spicy aftertaste. 

I wonder if they ever appreciate the view they have from their front door. (When they are not carrying water up the mountain)

(left to right) Christine, Valarie, Tom, Me, Faraja, David, Peter

Diversity

Greetings from Kampala once again!

It’s been a long and amazing winter break back in the United States and in Singapore. I really enjoyed all the great conversations with old friends, and I was deeply encouraged by the support and hospitality shown to me. There really is nothing quite like true Christian fellowship after all.

That being said, it is great to be back in my humble little Ugandan house off Kiwafu road. I’m excited for this next term with Engineering Ministries International and all God has planned to do these next four months. I have had a lot of time to reflect on my past term and God has shown me some awesome things. I can sum it all up in one word: Diversity.

The Body of Christ is huge, and as I have literally travelled across the globe these past 2 months, I have gotten a much more global perspective of God’s Kingdom.  I partook in 3 hour worship sessions in an African village, attended a church reaching out to families in the ghettos of Atlanta, listened to strong biblical teachings in downtown Savannah, and visited a Chinese church in Singapore.

Despite the major cultural differences that seem so apparent at the surface level, it is so clearly evident that we all have something in common. It surpasses customs and language. It creates an immediate connection that makes us share are innermost joys and struggles. The thing we have in common is Jesus. He has gripped all our hearts with his steadfast love and filled us with a desire to see his Kingdom come in power.

This is why I am so excited about this next term with eMi. There will be a total of 5 countries represented amongst the ten of us. This is the most diverse group of interns this office has ever seen. The countries represented are Uganda, USA, Australia, New Zealand and Tanzania. I can't wait to see how God is going to use this to further His Kingdom in Uganda this term. 

Valarie (Uganda), Tom (Kiwi) and Brian (Uganda)

Peter (Austria/Hong Kong) and I (USA/The Netherlands)

Prayer Requests:

-Most of the office will be on project trips next week. Pray for effectiveness and protection as they scatter across East-Africa.

-Brian and I will be teaching English classes at a refugee center this term. Most refugees come from Somalia, Ethiopia and South Sudan. I am particularly excited because the majority of them are Muslim. Pray for wisdom and God honoring relationships.

Thanks for reading and praying. It's a huge encouragement to me.

In the dust of His feet,

-Alex

It was good to visit my Dad and brother in Singapore. I don't get to see them nearly as much as I'd like.

Architecture at its finest. 

If you have ever been within a mile of a durian you would understand why this is the best law in Singapore.

Watoto, Kampala's Megachurch.

We don't get snow here, but the lake flies are so numerous I get confused sometimes.

 Ugandans have a pretty good sense of humor.

 Owino Market. I got 17 passion fruit for less than a dollar here.

David is a long term volunteer, and will be doing most of the survey work this term.

This Is The Way

These last few weeks in Uganda have been very action packed. There are too many stories for me to tell, and it would not do them justice to try and squeeze them into this "last" blog post. I say the word "last" quite lightly since I have some pretty big news to drop on you, but that will have to wait till the end.

For some reason food/slaughtering is a big theme that arose over the past few weeks. Here is a quick summary:

Animals killed and slaughtered:

-1 Goat

-1 Turkey (for Thanksgiving)

-1 Pig

-Half a dozen Tilapia

When I ordered Fish at a local restaurant, they graciously offered me the head (It was surprisingly good)

Meet Pinky, weighing in at 45 kilos.
 

Thomas did a great job killing the pig with a pocket knife.

Just another day in Africa.

Yes, that's a banana leaf  were using as a cutting board.

Marinated in BBQ and Pineapple for two days, and then slow roasted and smoked. It was freaking delicious. 

The whole pig ordeal was quite an adventure, and it payed off. I am so thankful for the opportunities have have gotten outside of the office to experience life in Africa. The Lord has given me some sweet friendships and times of fellowship, and they deserve a spot in this "last" post.

Thanksgiving at the "Doors" ministry house (a home for street boys)

Thomas and Jacob with our guards Jackson and Ali.

The Nile as viewed from the scouting campsite in Jinja.

A tree submerged by the dam placed upstream. We swam to it and even managed to climb it!

Here I am setting up the survey equipment at the MAF Kijjansi Airfield.

Now, allow me to introduce you to the eMi East Africa office. I realize its a little late, but you deserve to see what my everyday life is like, not just the random exciting experiences outside of my work time.

Honestly the office work has been amazing too, and so rewarding. A few days ago our team finished the second master plan of the term, complete with grading & drainage drawings, electrical drawings, architectural floor plans, water distribution and more. I have learned a lot, and it is exciting to know that everything I designed will be used to expand God's Kingdom in places I could never reach. Enjoy these few shots from around the office.

My Desk.

The office library is quite extensive.

Just another day with AutoCad. And a sugar cane coke to keep me going.

My desk has the best view in my opinion.

This is one of the wall drawings in the meeting room (aka the Garage). Each eMi office is marked on here.

The opposing wall, I never get bored of looking at it.

The Wall of Interns. Every intern from the past ten years hangs here. We are Loved.

I have thoroughly enjoyed my time here. I have grown professionally and spiritually. I have labored for the kingdom and can't wait to see what the Lord has for me in the States. The next group of interns will be arriving in January, and I know God has great plans for them.

Unfortunately, we found out last week that one of the civil engineering interns from the States is not going to make it next term. His 16 year old brother passed a way in a car accident and he is thus unable to make it to Uganda. If you could, please pray for him (his name is Matt). We have been trying to fill the intern position, and two different people had shown interest. This Tuesday morning during our office devotion, it was announced that those two people also could not make. David, the intern coordinator, seemed quite defeated and he was essentially announcing that nobody was going to fill the position next year. That is when I heard a voice so loud and clear, it was frightening. 

"Alex, you can do that" 

Wait What? No no no. I am going to the US in a week and I am going to get a job and earn money and find a church and...

"This is the Way, Walk in it"

Isaiah 30:21, what a great promise. That despite affliction and troubles Jesus will show himself and direct us where to go, as long as we move forward. It does not happen often, but when you hear God's direction you know it to be real. My heart and head were already partially back in the States, planning my next moves. But God has bigger plans, and I know without a doubt he still has work for me to do here. I want to serve the Lord, and I want to follow Jesus. My life means nothing without him. The only thing worth living for is his kingdom, everything else comes second. I am scared, and my heart still desires to build up earthly treasures, I am at war within myself, but I will keep on running this race and throw off the sin that so easily entangles. There is nothing better. 

In other words, after a refreshing Christmas break back in the States, I will be heading back to Uganda mid January. If possible, I want to meet you in person and hear all about what the Lord has done in your life these past few months. 

Hit me up. I might even share some Ugandan coffee beans or sugar cane sugar with you ;)

In the Dust of His Feet,

-Alex

Village Hospitality

Last week I was given the chance to visit Mityana again. It had been at least two months since my last visit, and I was excited to see some old friends. We went to go visit Mpagee (I doubt his name has a written form) and his family. He is the caretaker of the land I surveyed in September. It was good to see his family again only I wish the occasion for going could have been a more happier one. He lost his nine-month old daughter due to preventable illness. Healthcare just is that not readily available in the villages of Uganda. 

This just reminded me of something. There was a building on the master plan that did not get enough water pressure. We had to adjust some pipe sizes and heighten the water tower so that building could get enough water during peak times. That building is a proposed health clinic. The work I do here can sometimes become just math problems I'm solving behind my desk, but I need to realize that the work I do here can save lives. Maybe not in the way the doctor in that clinic would, but we all have different responsibilities in the body of Christ, and they are all important to furthering his kingdom.

I hope that little paragraph encouraged you, but let me tell you more about Mpagee and his family.

After we located some grave sites on the property (for engineering purposes) I got to see Mpagee's mother, who goes by the name "Jjajja" which means Granny. I gave her the portrait I took of her in September, which was such a blessing. She showed it to her entire family and they all got a good laugh when they saw it.

This was probably the first time anyone had seen her face on paper. This particular photo actually won a spot in the annual Engineering Ministries International magazine. I figured it only made sense to give her a copy.

This gave me the idea to take a family photo. There is not much I can do for this grieving family, but I wanted them to have a picture of each other while they are all still here together. I only wish that I could have gotten one sooner, before the tragic loss. John go the whole family to stand together in front of their house.

Quite a beautiful looking family, don't you think? I realize John is not officially a member of this family, but since he sponsors three of the kids for school fees, he might as well be. 

Did you notice Mpagee's wife in the picture? Probably not since she is trying her best to hide. I don't know why but she was very camera shy. Some Africans believe that a camera's steal your soul when you take a picture, but I'm pretty sure that was not her case. 

At any rate, I wanted to get a picture of Mpagee and his wife together. Judging by there current state of living it is not far fetched to think that they had never gotten their picture taken together. When John translated my request for me, she immediately laughed in embarrassment and proceeded to walk away. It took some convincing but after a little while Mpagee got his wife to sit down next to him. The moment I pull out my camera she hides her face in her hands, with a smile. Mpagee looks at her and says something in Luganda, at which she lifts her face for just moment for me to take a picture.

These people live in a level of poverty I can not describe. They had to bury their daughter only a week prior. Life is hard. But they have a hope in them that perseveres through any hardship.

After some good hangout time, we visited the village pastor. His family immediately recognized John and his two sons and led us into their house. We had a good time of catching up, since John knew the family well. We got to pray together in his house, while his kids went out back and picked like 20 fresh avocado's for us. After our goodbyes the family followed us for a bit and their daughter carried the bag of avocado's all the way back to the van.

Side note: There was a colony of weaver birds on the side of the road, which is pretty awesome.

 When we got back to the van, I came to truly understand village hospitality. Jjaja had cooked us food again (no pig nipple this time), and packed our van full with various goods. We placed the avocado's next to the Matoke (non-sweet bananas), Cassava (aka yucca root), and two chickens. All together it must have been 20 pounds. After the delicious meal of matoke and beans we say a last goodbye and head out.
We pass by another village family maybe 15 minutes down the road. John stops the van and parks it in someones "driveway" and we follow a dirt road on foot. At the end we meet an lady who looks to be in her late 20's. At the sight of us she pulls out a wooden bench and places on the red moist soil. John explains how this lady donated a pig to the ministry earlier in the year during a rally to proclaim the gospel. We were visiting her so we could thank her for the generous offering. Guess what her reaction was to us thanking her? She goes into the field with her son, and pulls 5 pounds of beans out of the ground for us. While we help her pods of the stalks her son pulls an additional 5 pounds of Cassava out of the ground.

Honestly, I could not help getting slightly emotional at the sight of this. To think that a village family living in a round mud hut deep in the African jungle with no clean water or health services around for miles, would simply give their livelihood to strangers and expect nothing in return? Such stark contrast from my last summer working a Jimmy Johns, in which throwing away 3 tomato slices would upset the manager. I can't help but think a variety of verses where Christians are called to be generous  and let strangers into our house (Romans 12). It's an example that is hard to follow.

So yeah it was a good day.

Allow me to leave with a picture of a village we drove by a few weeks ago near Gulu. This is where the LRA terrorized Uganda about 10 years ago. We spotted an Invisible Children truck which is something I'd never expected to see in my lifetime. Uganda is beautiful, and so are its people. I hope I was able to share that with you today.

In the dust of his feet,
-Alex

The Most Beautiful Thing

As announced, this last weekend I visited Murchison Falls National Park and got to see a new stunning side of God's creation that I will not likely see again. Even so, the real beauty I saw last weekend was not directly in his creation, but I will get to that later.

After 7 hours of travel in a safari van, we arrive in Murchison National Park. Our tents had already been setup with a view of the Nile and grazing hippos. After only short break and lunch we jumped back in the van, and headed for the savanna. These are the best pictures I took during that game drive.

These guys were chilling right outside the park. I guess that's what happens when you don't have fences.

Ms. Giraffe just stared at us like this for at least 10 minutes.

Here she is with her friends.

The Loser Buffalo, exiled from his herd. He was pretty aggressive and charged at us at one point.

After the game drive we got an early night sleep. We were exhausted from spending 10 hours in a car, and we needed to get up early before sunrise so that we would have enough time to visit the Falls, and see the eclipse. The sights were amazing, let me just show you:

\

*Insert Lion King opening soundtrack*

I love how the clouds bend in this shot, especially with the vibrant colors protruding from behind the palm trees.

The interns. From left to right: Christine, Meghan, Mark, Thomas, Me, Jacob.

Hippo Tracks on the banks of the Nile.

Jacob pondering if he could survive jumping into the waterfall.

That's me in front at the top of Murchison Falls.

Some people like to do Safari's in style. 

After the short visit to the Falls, we headed straight back to camp to meet up with Tunç, our Turkish Astro-photographer friend. He managed to find a good spot to take photo's of the eclipse with a good view of the savanna. We spent the first 2 hours staring at the sun with our special eclipse glasses. It was quite a marvelous sight.

Geoffrey, our driver, fixes his glasses in preparation for the eclipse. 

About 20 minutes after first contact.

We found a cool way to "hold" the eclipse using a filter and flash photography.

Everyone was quite excited.

2 minutes till full contact. You could look at the sun without glasses at this point.

At this point we saw darkness cover the Congolese mountains. It rapidly spread across the savanna straight towards us. I look up at the sun and see that the only parts not yet covered are valleys on the moon. I look back over the savanna when the racing darkness hits us.

Full contact.

Cameras are rapidly firing all around me. I was conflicted as to look through  my camera and get a good picture or just to take it all in. In the heat of the moment I get this blurry picture and 16 seconds later it's over. The sun peeks out its face, the shadow disappears into the distance, and the sun's pink chromosphere fades.

It's over.

The astronomers and photographers that payed thousand of dollars to travel and even more on their equipment give a slight applause with smiles on their faces. Everyone looks at me saying: "Wasn't that awesome!"

I guess. As awesome as God's creation is, especially those 16 seconds, I did not share that same excitement. Honestly, it was was beautiful, but I just can't understand how people can literally chase these things all across the globe (some had seen at least 20 full eclipses). It almost felt like chasing the wind. We were not meant to worship the creation, but the creator. The beauty in the picture he painted reflects His beauty. I think of how our lives are like a vapor in the wind that is here today and gone tomorrow. I don't want to chase the wind with my short life, and I don't want to see others do it either.

The beauty that the Lord showed me that weekend was the beauty of his Gospel. I was raised a Christian and never really was brought to my knees in submission and confession of my sin. But for some reason the Lord spoke to me that weekend. Three days in a row I dreamed about sharing the gospel. I read the first half of "Mere Christianity" and the Lord shook me.

The love God has for us the most beautiful thing in this world, and you don't have to travel some remote African jungle to see it. It saddens me to see people in this world running so fast towards little things in this creation that seem to feel so good at the time. They need to know what is truly worth living for.

Listen. God loves you. You have probably heard that before but do you really understand what that means? The person who you are fighting against, the person you are rebelling against, loved you so much that he sent his only son. This son showed you how to lay your weapons down. Like a teacher he took your hand helped you form letters on a piece of paper. When you fought him he did not take up arms, but instead a cross, to show you what perfect submission truly looks like. And why? For the joy set before him. That's why. So lay your weapons down. He is in relentless pursuit of your life and your heart, and wants to take your life and give it purpose. Stop fighting. Stop chasing the wind. Let him take the vapor you call life and make it into something more beautiful and glorious than you could ever hope for.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

With Love,
-Alex